Demoralized

It's strange why, of all nights, tonight, i lost my motivation to study.As much as i keep forcing myself to get to the books and read up, I couldnt do it. Suddenly i felt like, i couldnt be BoThEred bout the paper tomoro. Bad. A very bad sign indeed. Completely at the wrong time to feel like not doing something. I keep telling myself, "hEy, its a second chance. I can finally catch up with the rest without feeling left out" But right at the last minute, it all crumbles.As if giving up hope on life or something. This sucks. I DO want to finish this. I DO, want to have my classmates as my classmates again. But why? Why this... why now? Stupid questions I should only be the one who can give the answer. But im the one asking. This is what you call gEnuine dumbness. I make yself siCk sometimes, Like some pathetic thing that deserves to be StoMped upon. ArgHh!

I hate it. I shouldnt have let my parents talk me into doing this. I should have started something that i prefered. But that's a lil wee bit too late for all these complaints now isnt it? I havent been honest with MYSELF. But here it is. Im not meant to do this.I dont like it and i will not be able to make it through. I never though i could. First sem? i was lucky to scrape through. This time? the bEst of luck wont make change a thing.Now i ReALLY understand why seniors keep asking me to get outta this course. I feel the pain man. Sigh....I guess i should go. Try to get SOME marks instead of walking outta the hall with only 2-3 marks outta 100. see ya.