Squawk

I just cant understand people. What kinda FucKErs would rather live here lavishly rather than to slog aLIL bit for my future? Is it TOO much to ask for?Im just wondering How much satisfaction They get by watching me feel disappointed. They just cant understand what it feels like to be denied the one thing I want so much. How can i explain wHY i want to go so badly? I just want to go!!!! StupiD questions. Im gonna go MAD!!!!!! They say im stubborn. What bout tHEm?!?!?!?!? ARGHHHH!!!!!!!!!They think I want to go so badly because i hate them... WhaT thE FUCK!?!?! I WILL hate them if they dont let me go.I cant fucking scream with her sitting downstairs in the hall...I cant bang the doors, i cant do jackshit to vent out this frustration except sit here and tremble.I will live 10 years shorter if this continues. I just cant understand why.......

This is unmerciful.....

Running Out Of Air

I havent felt tHIs low, this worthless and emotionally diSturbEd in...a long time. Im sitting here, scrEamIng at the top of my lungs,but no one hears me.I can sit down and literally kILL my eyes but yet not able to pin point whats is it, thats killing me. Yes, I do know a few. Probably the combination of it all is the lethal injection. If this dont end, then so help me God, I will rip myself apart. I swear, at this moment, I really need to go. I really need to leave at the earliest possible time. Start a new life, in a new place, new environment. I need it. I want it. I never wanted to be away any more than this. I know I have things that I may possibly nevEr leave behind, but hey, everyone's gotta start SomEwhere.And if I dont begin soon, I will cause my own deaTh. I am literally ashamed of myself at this point, for being the way I am. It's like being filthy. In a group of happy people, your face is sour. just like in a bundle of clean clothes, lies one dirty sock.

I do realize that I always end up in situations whereby I have no idea how I got in, and how im gonna get out. I dont know what im trying to get to here. All I know, is that im ranting like some ass bout NothinG. And ALL I rEaLLy want, is to get out, get away and start freSh. Why cant I get that? I have never really gotten what I truly wanted. I just want thiS.I just want to go. I just dont feel that I can stay here. Staying here, is scaring even mySelf. Here, I can begin weeping and whACking the walls for no apparent reason. I need to go. I KnOW it will make a differenceIf this is paying back for all the wrong i've done. Well Shit, I must have done some really ShittiFiEd things in the past. Have I not paid enough? When's my Light at the end of the tunnel ever coming? When can I ever fly away and be free of my emotions?There are so many questions that i could ask, but they all will forever remain, unanswered. Should it ever be answered, I shall surely rest in peace. Let me go.......let me have the freedom to walk around without having a second skin over my face.Im tired.

Jackshit

Words are the WoRSt bullshit ever.Words makes you look Soo FUcking angelic and nice and sweet and convincing...caring all that jAckshit.everything. But HOW true are they?Why cant anyone LISTEN to the things they're fucking saying outta their mouths before telling them. There at one point im being encouraged. Said i could do Anything i wanted to, no matter the coSt oR how far. BoLLocks.Now? You Fuckers once choose to build my dreams up high and now choose to destroy them? Lies, Sweet liEs.If only i was capable of earning my OWN money, i Swear, TO HELL with all of you. Makes me SICK.Underestimated...? THATS your pathetic reason you give me? FUCK you man. Dont you have any other better reasons than that? Spend la spend. Spend all your god damn money on Crap stuff for house DECORATIONS?? batch after batch of FISHES? your crates and crates of WINE. And you claim MY LIFESTYLE is expensive.HAvent I had enough of the SHIT from all the things YOU've done? so much that even my future has to be compromised?You're one HELL of a bastard man.If you had SpAred your DICK from being so GOD damn itChy, EVEryonE would have been better off now, wont we?

FUCK you man, Fuck you to hell. I cannot even bEGin to imagine how fucking much you make me SICK, OLD FOOL. Im surprised i didnt KILL You. Both of you.

Pit Party

Captain Chubby reporting in. Yesterday, at approximately 2230hours we arrived at the foot of the K.L Tower. Hid our vehicle at an opposite building car park. We were required to hike uphill which was unexpected to me. We nearly diEd before the battle begin.Sweet sounds of music could be heard while hiking which gave us more encouragement and also made our journey much more pleasent.Soon enough, beautiful lights could be seen as well.It look as though we were about to enter another dimension.Finally reached the peak. Excitement rushes through. However, there seemed to be some difficulties. Cameras werent allowed in the arena, bags and body checks were performed.So were the IDs of course.A wave of panic hit me hard, I was worried about my cam. A brilliant/crazy idea strucked. So, HoW i got it in....hehe, now that's my secret.I had to.Passed the ID check, Passed the bags check.Suddenly i saw something that I wasnt prepared for. Metal Detector.I freaked.Finally,trying to ignore the possibility of COmpletely HUmiliating myself, I went for it.Passed.[phew...]

Made our way to the arena. Prodigy started performing.I like a few of Prodigy's songs, so it was pretty finE for me,but for my other trooper,it wasnt going too well.She looked like she missed home too much.At about 0015hours,the waves of Prodigy subsided.A short break was given and then the nExt wave hit again.This time, DJ Goldfish.I was losing it.It reminded me of my previous battle,Zoukfest.It lasted near an hour,then DJ T-Bone stepped up.Shot us with some nice beats.I could almost see Light coming outta my trooper's face."Its trance",she said, and then started shuffling.I followed.There were somE....mind boggling scenes about this one weird guy that stunned me for a moment before returning to my normal self.Unfortunately, the rain started.We continued despite the rain, until at bout 0200hours,the rain was too heavy to allow any continuation.The battle ended.Everyone rushed inside for cover.We took the opportunity to capture the moments and then left and headed to replenish ourselves. We left for home at about 0415hours.

PIT PARTY 2005

b4 the rain


still nice and dry




wet and sticky and cold


Party PooPEd






fatty

The Others

me n Smalls at dinner


Same Smalls, different Day...hahah


smalls is missing...actually shes SomEwhere..lOok harder..lOooOook[too small Huh? mayb if you liStEn,you might find her]


ppl who never fail to amuse cameras

CANDID SHOTS


hEy...WhAts jocey doin..??[lets play charades]


is that cheek bEngKAk? or what?? ahahaha


HUh???


Fiq...fiq...*shakes head*


This should be under "the hair" or "the face" ?? =p


AUNTIE~~~!!!


SmaLLs has SexaY eyes...ahahaha


iyliA.....o.O

Random

I've found something intersting today...hehe...some simple things that many of us would never think about...

How Do Houseflies Manage To Land On The Ceiling Upside Down

Think about this one...When the fly is heading for the ceiling, it's flying right side up. When it lands on the ceiling it is upside down. At some point along the way it has to flip over. But when? And Where? And How?

Scientists dispelled the prevalent theory, that the fly performed a fighter pilot-like barrel roll just prior to landing, by capturing this momentous event on film.
Freeze frames, from the high-speed cameras scientists used, proved that flies do not flip, but flop, as they land upon the ceiling. Prior to impact, the fly extends its forward legs over its head, makes contact, and uses the momentum it has gathered in flight to hoist the remainder of its body to the ceiling. Thus, the fly proves to be more of an acrobat, than of a fighter pilot practicing his maneuvers.

Once the fly reunites all six feet on the ceiling, it keeps things dizzingly exciting, by gracefully tiptoing across the ceiling, securing itself by using sticky pads found under the two claws attached to each of its feet. It is because of these sticky pads and the hairs on the legs that the fly is such a carrier of disease germs.

And Another...

Aristotle, Sir Isaac Newton, Moses, and Charles Darwin had a problem expressing themselves because they stuttered.

ehehe...noW you know too. =) Good byE...*Runs off to scout for food*

BOred....

Your Brain is 46.67% Female, 53.33% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

im so bored...im actually doing nonsense like this...

You Know You're Addicted to Smoking When...

You put scotch tape on a broken one. You only smoke half of the cigarette so you can start on the next one sooner. A big white truck with the picture of a camel rolls up to your house twice a week with your supply of smokes. You are considering changing your name to Malboro. You smoke in the shower. You've convinced yourself that second-hand smoke is not harmful if you inhale really really deeply. Your children are named: Winston, Philip Morris and Misty. R.J. Reynolds sends you a Christmas card. You're waiting for the last few pews to become a designated smoking area before you'll go back to church. People invite you outside to admire the stars, and it's daytime. Every time you light up a cigarette your family stops, drops and rolls. Your family's Christmas wish list consists of gas masks, fire extinguishers and air fresheners. You have an environmental awareness group protesting on your lawn. Your family goes to Los Angeles for fresh air. Your friends have named their secondhand smoke related coughs after me. Your cat has taken to wearing "The Patch" Your family uses fog horns to navigate around you. Just watching the 400 metre race during the Olympics makes you tired. The local iron lung dealer sends you their product brochures. Phillip Morris sends you their annual report and thanks you for your help. You recently read somewhere that your former cigarette manufacturer went out of business shortly after you switched to a new brand. Your doctor [excitedly] asks for your permission to use your lung x-rays at his next "Quit Smoking" seminar. You take baths because the shower puts 'em out Your nickname at work is "Breakroom."

For all of you people who ChImnEys Eh..???

Victory~!!

I guess it's pretty predictable what im about to blog about. Hahaha....If you're thinking Manchester United, You're DAmN right. They won 4-0 last night against Southampton. The FA cup is SoOo near, I bet they can SMeLL it. Went to hartamas for a drink, I didnt notice that Manchester's match was on then. GOooD thing we were there. Was a GooD match, with the first half giving me several accounts of heart attack. In the end, everything goes well. And my beloved team, once again gains yet another marvelous victory. First goal was scored in 87 seconds, the third goal, 3 mins after the commencement of the second half. Aint it gReat? WoOoOoot.

I Cant Get No SleeEeeeeep

Im up at this....uNgoDLY hour of a Saturday Morning. Yes, ungodly because I only came home at bout 3.30 juST noW?? HAD to wake up because this..."Astro man" is fixing another extension in my brother's room.....-_-

I am still so DeaD tired. Went Atmos last nite with the Shortys.May and Sasha came along. God, i did not expect Flabby to be so hypEr. Havent seen her thIS crazy in a Long LonG time. Must be the deprivation of clubbing.haha.Anyway, Atmos yesterday was FAbulouS. Better than the last time i went.Which was....2 weeks ago.Shit, they played Tiesto's Traffic.omFG....DrOoLs~~ and then the classic Zombie Nation and Insomnia. WoOoOoo HOOOoo. I had a BLasT. If only everytime i go Atmos, it is goin to be tHaT gOooD. Had no idea i enjoyed myself that much, considering i didnt have the mOoOd for it since Zoukfest wasnt just too long ago. But hey, i didnt regret popping the question. Probably the last time I’ll club with Flabby anyway.... =~(

And oh, i was LearNing to shuffle from Krystal. But couldnt quite get it right. Learned the RunnIng Man and Stuck to it...heck, it was WAYYY easier and more fun anyway [tho im not a mAN...running... =D], but drains every ounce of energy in me.ArGhh.... i wanna go back to sleep.... stupid Astro man...go away please.....sigh.......



dinner.... with the entire SounD System =)


There... the WhoLe Sound System..[im the audience, of course]


AtmoSphere~!


A vEry Fat looking CHuBBy...hehehe

BHOTLOL

Im into jokes lately...hehe... beaR with me or share it with me...

You know how i dont like the busines/trading world because it's way too SnakEy? well... this is onE reason why..:

A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.
The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?" The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly."

Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."

Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"

OMFg...!! This is HiLLAriouS!!!

A guy walks into a bar and orders 12 tequilas. The bartender asked, "what's wrong," and the guy says that he just found out that his younger son is gay. The bartender says, "he's sorry about it." After a couple of days the guy comes back and orders 15 tequilas. The bartender asked, "What's wrong now," to which the guy responds That he found out that his older son was gay, too. The bartender says that he's sorry. The guy returned a few days later and ordered 20 tequilas. The bartender burst out, "Isn't anyone in your family gettin' any pussy?!" The guy gets really pissed and says, "Yeah, my wife!!!!!"

hey hEy...check this out..:

A salesman knocks at the door of a home and it's answered by a 12yr old boy with a cigar in one hand and a half empty bottle of scotch in the other. The salesman asks the boy, "Excuse me son but is your mom or dad in?" To which the boy replies, "Does it fucking look like it?"

im still bored.....ahaha.... So muCh for keeping myself company =)

Humor Me Silly

A little something I found hilarious while I was Shit boRed surfing around.. =)


lol



Cyber Safe-sex..!! LOL

ZouKfest

BEFORE THE EVENT...


thE um.....PerempuAns... o.0


haha... Jace can NEVER be taller than mE hAh!


Suzz wonderful idea..hehehe


stole this from Shan

Everyone was pretty much exited and just cant wait to get there. Me and Jace Convoyed up. I had to wait for that fella for bout 45 mins,coz she's um.....FAshionAbly late..haha. Reached Genting at bout 2.30 and headed straight for lunch. Met up with the rest as well. Dylan,Carmen,Smalls,Jinyin.Lepak around while waiting for the rooms, I went n help Ju Nn get their tickets. I think I nearly DiED lining up for it.The crowd was InsanE and totally Unco-operative.I made a new best friend while lining up, the extinguisher. I was practically KiSssINg it.The best thing was, the tickets wasnt for me. I got mine quite some time ago.hehe.So, Lepak around, had our dinner and then had some drinks b4 goin in. At 10 something, we decided to start the party.

AT ZOUKFEST 2005....

Stage of Ghetto Heaven Arena


Zouk Main Arena


Another View Of the Main Arena


Me and the Shortys at the Entrance


See.... im the tALLest here...hehehe


TenGah gila....


the guys wanna Slut too....ho ho ho

There were so many people...sigh, u cant moVE. There were ppl shuffling around almost like breakdance battles, there were the smell of WEED everywhere and there were bottles all over the floor causing me to trip like 64167468748 times. The weather was grEat, hence, a GooD clubbing environment. But u know what? I preferred Ghetto Heaven. ahaha.. Dont ask me why. The main arena was playing SloW, chilling trance songs. I got bored. Probably because I was abit Koo Koo in the head and I wanted to go crazy, so, I SquEeZed my way to Ghetto Heaven and I stayed there, 60% of the night. haha. Overall, it was great because of the people that were there.

The Paradox Of Life

As the time inches closer to the day of my departure, im desperately looking for things, memories that I can carry with me when I cross over to the new realm of independance.Im all grown up now. All the talks of ever staying by myself, live life by myself, my own rules, my own LIFE, is drawing near. And I have to say, im getting scared. Saying is always easy huh? When you actually have to do it, it's a whole different thing. I guess this is what people meant when they say that, we're all alone. We came into this world alone, we live alone, and we die alone. No 2 person, in this generation, Starts life and ends life going through the SAME path. Different stages, we come across people who are the same as you, at THAT point, move on, and you'll meet someone else. Sigh..and I frown thinking bout how many times in life we gotta say goodbye. It almost like a lie,when people say that life is full of joy and all, when life is actually full of GooDbyes. The Happier you are, the sadder you'll become when everything's gone.

I still remember the times, back then, when I was little. I had to leave the people who were once my buDdies because I was moving away.Those people were my life then. What else do kids do other than play and go to school? nothing else were more memorable than play time and friends.But as I grew older, I understood more things and i have learnt to know the value of things, the importants of it and the best of all, appreciation. Thus, saying goodbye isnt as easy as it used to be.Last time we used to say,"write to me" or " i'l come back to visit". All those things, it was so innocent and naive. Because we never thought that once we leave, we might never come back, see each other again. Now that I know,it biTEs to even pRepare myself for that coming day.So many questions RoAming in my head with no answers. Answers will only come with time.I know, im making a biG deal out of a small matter. It’s my first time, bear with me. Im becoming......emotional.SomEthing new huh? A person that people often think of as someone that has no other facial expression beside the smile is becoming Emo. Must be a wonder to some. But to afew, heh... they know me better than I know myself.Right? =)

FLabby.....what if one day.....you realise that im not coming back?

AnyWAYs.....ZOukfest is LESS than 20hours... so... Forget the Emo Shit adn LEts PARTYyyyYyY!!!!~!!!!!

Under The Influence Of Computers

Imagine what it would be like, if humans can perform "system restore"?. It's better than having a time machine to travel back to change things. Just a thought.....

Fake

So... it's been a week since I stopped college. I feel boREd to the MAX, and I feel miserable. It makes me feel pretty darn useless not having to get up in the morning and go to class or something. I mean, At lEast wake up with a reason for God's sake. Anyway, some.....bizarre things have happened lately.Somethings like....me meeting a new..."friend". Till what extend do you go, to make a new friend?Ive been in Taylors for alil over a year now, and SUddEnLY, one week after I quit college, this MysteriouS fella comes sending me massages. I mean, yEs, I do welcome friends and new people in my life.But I am NOT someone who's THAT open to strangers Suddenly coming up to me and wanting to be ToOo close in a short matter of time. I am Totally NOT accustomed to that. I'm sorry, but that's just me. I cant take it when people get OvEr-friendly.

First of all, you dont come and sms me saying "Hi,im bla bla bla, I dont know if you remember me but we met a couple of times" LikE the HELL I know who the Fuck you are. At least tell me where in the blue hell you came from.Secondly, Answer my questions when I ask you, especially when im asking you WHAT DO YOU WANT?.I dont know you and im totally Not ready for some...too personal question from strangers. Like mama always say..."dont talk to strangers".
You KNOW very well, that i am already not very comfortable with it, you make the EvEn BETTER move,CALL ME.....Cmon man, i know i have stopped college, but Dont ASSUME that i have Nothing else better to do than to listen to stories bout YOUR life, YOUR past, YOUR philosophy,YOUR thoughts and WhatEver you said that i wasnt listening. Dont also god damn assume that I want to know more bout you too. Coz the only thing i wanna know is HOW and WHY did you look through MY details and disturb my once peaceful life.No offence, but NO, i never wanted to know anymore bout you than stated above. My fucking Lord...what in the hell have i done wrong? This is Sick....it's making me sick as well. ARGHHH...mother fucker. Talk bout GUYS being dumb.....you're worse. Take the hint man...I wanna get of the phone.Stupid dogface too busy telling me JAckShit.DO i look like a psychologist to you? Fuck that. I didnt SAY any of these because i was still caring for that person's feelings.Worried that I may end up being like a total Asshole, so i kept it to myself.HELL, if this goes on, FUCK it man...You dont think im introvert enough?? I'll show you introvert.