Thursday, September 23, 2004

The Worse for Wear

tEAr down the roof, tEAR down the GoD damn wall. Breakthrough the doors, SMash thE fucking windows.Smack me in the face with a frying pan. break me. SLAP mE. Shoot me with tranquilizer. ANYTHING!!! Let me be calm again. Im assaulted. by my own head.gOd damn, make the bangings in my head stOP!SuddenLy i feel so Angry...miXed with rage...frustration. i CAnt seem to do anything to change It. i seem helpless..towards my OWN emotion, as if too tiny and weak to do anything.

I know im probably just piSSed off coz i know im losing. im fighthing with time, and im gonna lose.Knowing that i may not finish aLL of my assignments in time is one thing. I cant finD my assignment question is another thing. Waking up after a SHORT nap that made me feel like shit is also AnotHer thing.What thE hELL is wrong with me? i KNow, its Stupid to get all agitated over small lil matters like this.i Know it, but i just cant help it. it's worst than trying to solve a mind boggling case. I AM the mind boggling thing.i Have a headache.."go get some rest" i hear. Get up and continue my work in the morning?. i DreaD the mornings. For every morning im beginning to feel worse everyday. i Dread it because i know it's another day at college, another day closer to the dateline, Another day which brings another piece of work, anothEr day that i feel lost during lectures and another day of realizing that i might fail my finals.

i Rant alot tonight. i think if this goes on, we'll all just sit and watch how long i can battle for sanity. ARGHh..!!WhatEver that's invaDing my hEad...GEt THE fuCK Out and lEAve me alone! FUCK OFFF!!!!!

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