accEptance is it juSt a word...? or not.?? how many really Do understand the meaning of acceptance and really know how deep that word could be? EVerytime something hAppends...accept it. Everytime something changes...accept it. in fact...i think we're all SlavEs to that word... NO onE..and i mean No One could live through life WihoUt having to accept anything. Acceptance to mE....its about having to succumb to the inevitable...whether u like it or not. Everything you do..is goin round in circles. things change --> accept --> settle down. and then it GoEs again..n again...n again..until the day u cant anymore. SigH....when will it ever be the last time we will succumb to this?
acceptance chanGes you... changes mE. Changed the person i uSed to be. Now i stare in the mirror and wonder, where was the person that i once knew? where was the person that i had to let go? now i see a person with hardly any emotions...hardly any facial expression. Everyone look at me and think that im juz a smilEy face...some iDiot who knows nothing but smile. GooD in some ways. kEeps the distance between WhAt you know...and Who u know. Everyday of my life is the same thing...repeating itself. im getting bored of it..getting bored of not having any emotions.. the only emotion i get... is satisfaction..from my cigs....and Thankful from knowing i have good friends..n im glad that thEy DO care for me.they have Proven that. okay...So wat..im emotionless??...So Wat.. if i cant feel anything more than thankful and satisfaction?? through it all... i couldnt ask for more...mAyb in someways....this is happiness... and I might have already achieved that without even noticing it. mayb i took it all for granted. mAyb this iS the person that i wanted to be...the kind of attitude that i was Dying to change into. From the times when i was soft, vulnarable and easily influenced to what i see in me today..i feel no guilt that i am what i am now. I know acceptance had made the stupid kinda mentallity that i used to have into something more meaningful.
acceptance chanGes you... changes mE. Changed the person i uSed to be. Now i stare in the mirror and wonder, where was the person that i once knew? where was the person that i had to let go? now i see a person with hardly any emotions...hardly any facial expression. Everyone look at me and think that im juz a smilEy face...some iDiot who knows nothing but smile. GooD in some ways. kEeps the distance between WhAt you know...and Who u know. Everyday of my life is the same thing...repeating itself. im getting bored of it..getting bored of not having any emotions.. the only emotion i get... is satisfaction..from my cigs....and Thankful from knowing i have good friends..n im glad that thEy DO care for me.they have Proven that. okay...So wat..im emotionless??...So Wat.. if i cant feel anything more than thankful and satisfaction?? through it all... i couldnt ask for more...mAyb in someways....this is happiness... and I might have already achieved that without even noticing it. mayb i took it all for granted. mAyb this iS the person that i wanted to be...the kind of attitude that i was Dying to change into. From the times when i was soft, vulnarable and easily influenced to what i see in me today..i feel no guilt that i am what i am now. I know acceptance had made the stupid kinda mentallity that i used to have into something more meaningful.
Mayb acceptance had made me moderate enough in many ways i never thought i could be. I admit, that i have many things that im unsatisfied with. I know what they are but there's nothing much i could do about it..i am...but only human.Yes..the pathetic being that is battling my MixEd emotions in my head. I will have to ovEr come these dissatisfactions...before I think ofsiCk twistEd things that i might have created on my own cloUds my thoughts.For noW.....the answer to my question..?? yEs... im contented....though not too suRe bout being finallY HappY yet.
1 comment:
being contented is..often a good thing. i know they say that you shouldn't always feel too contented, but i don't believe that it's wrong.
i beg to differ, i don't think it's 'acceptance' that changes people; i think it's 'what you accept' that changes them.
i don't really know whether that lack of emotion that you feel is actually a good thing. personally, i feel more than twenty different emotions in a day, so i can't relate to what you're feeling. but i do know that if this phase of 'blocking-everything-out' continues for you, it isn't going to be a very good thing.
Post a Comment