My Precious

look what just arrived. =D~~ *drools* i think this shall be at my bedside everynite. lovEly lovely lovely. THANK U SOOO much,my dear. =)

Tiger Lily

hEheh....its been awhile since I logged in here n spill some thoughts/whinEs..bla bla bla. Havent been home much lately.I guess I kinda officially movEd out already.Been enjoying my new found freedom.I've learnt to stick myself to the meaning of the word, independence. I had to cook for myself...clean up the house and of course wash the dishes. But since I live so near home, I go home for dinner almost everynite.hahha.. well... indirectly showing my parents that im still ALivE.Laundry is also brought home coz I dont have a washing machine there....and Im too lazy to wash them by hand. Its been a month now....and I think I might just stay put there till im ready to go further away from home.

Staying alone makes you feel awfully forlorn sometimes. As much as I enjoy the silence and the enormous personal space, I hate the way silence makes me think so much. Staring out the balcony, I look around as I enjoy the view, I miss a certain presence. A presence that I used to have. I miss the conversations, the new things I used to learn from those conversations. I miss all the things and experience I had. I cant rewind or undo things. The past remains as the past. So here I am now, fallen but not gone, bruised but not dead. Half-hanging and guilty.From the old memories, to the voice recordings....the pictures right up to the last words. I have them all. The last words shatters me everytime I lay my eyes on it.

19 years of life. what have I achieved? I’ve probably mastered the beSt ways to chase people outta my life.It should be a new profession. I am so GoOod at destroying those things that was everything to me. Do you really know me at all? Coz I dont.

What am I doing........?

Pump Up The Crap

Run your fingers through my soul,
for once, just once, feel exactly
what I feel, believe what I believe,
perceive what I perceive,
look, experience, examine and
for once, just once,
understand

Im goin mad in the middle of the night. When the city sleeps and the ghosts in me awakes. Torn apart by the movies playing in my head. The familiar voices that used to fill my life, reminding me of what I dont have anymore. "You win some, you lose some" Everything is always easier said than done. What caused this? Time? Distance? mE?

Im tormenting myself. Then again, its what I always do. I contradict everything that I do. Say I like being alone, but I dont, Say I like being around my friends, But its different.

I hate it when I go out,because, im holding my broken parts together. I hate it when Im alone, because I hate to fall apart. Bet no one thinks of the day, I would start Crumbling down. This is what they call Self-destruction. Not physically though. Physically was much better. Now its worse.

Authority Abuse

Zouk bouncers were apparently abuSing customers. Power and authority changes a person? Suppose so. I dont know how true this story goes, but it is worth reading. It put thoughts in your head.To be more careful when clubbing.It is after all...nOt the safest place on earth.

What do u think of Zouk now?
http://www.zoukabuse.blogspot.com

Malaysian Cops are a uSeless piece of crap force. Like I said, power n authority makes an ASS out of someone. Check out Today's Star newspaper.Page 4 about a chinese housewife. Cops make me SiCK.... If anything were to happen to me, cops are the last people I would go to for help. knowing them, they would probably expect some money given to them b4 doing anything for me. This country is making me sick. More over all these stories coming about makes me even more SicK of Malaysians.I wanna be a proud citizen and go out n say, "IM FROM MALAYSIA" but with all these happenning... u think it is a proud place to live in? mAybE not.

juSt my opinion...others may differ.

Me

I am the one, people used to call for company
I am the one,people used to seek comfort in
I am the one,people used to ask for help

Yet,

I am also the one that was uSed to step on because I would always give
so that they wont feel lonely, so that they could have the things that they want
I am also the one that was LiEd to,so that they wouldnt have to explain anything
so that asses wont be kicked.

I am the one,people apparently think they can kiCk around
I am the one,people use to practice their lYing skills
I am the one,people used to practice their ACTinG skills.
I am,in that way, a very good practice partner.

Who am I?

who else....me