its 2am, and I'm feeling alil gray. Theres something about the quiet city at night that is haunting. It makes me think about every possible thing (damnit it has to be when I'm back in Melbourne all alone). More often than not, it brings out the deeply disturbed side of me. All of my insecurities come out to haunt me. They play around my mind like kids on a carousel, laughing as they go around. The more I listen to their laughter, the more I succumb to their evilness. All these voices in my head clouding me from the truth, making me skeptical of reality. What do I know about reality? The only thing that I know of is that I'm never good enough for anyone and I'm worth nothing. This is not something I've felt today or yesterday. This is something I've felt my whole life. I hate it... I hate it with all my heart. I wish I'm not so fucking insecure.
I admit. I put up a strong front to ignore the problem. But when the problem is within you, there is no running away from. I'm just a broken piece of glass, breaking off into smaller pieces from time to time. I hate myself for what I am and I hate how its affecting the other parts of my life. I'm pissed off at MYSELF, now aint that fun?
My mind is choking up and my tears are devouring my soul. Please help me stop this. Wake me up and tell me this is not true.
I'm up for a junkyard sale. I'm broken but might still function pretty well after some repairs, any takers?
NO, but seriously....
I need a damn shrink.
No comments:
Post a Comment