Bitter Cold Within

Well well, I think my blog is getting a little lonely these days. I hardly update, maybe because there isnt anything really interesting thats been happening to me.  I guess as we age, we have less excitement, less drama, less.... everything. When everything is just set in place, being "stable" and all... In other words, mundane. Not that I'm complaining, really. Dont get me wrong. What I enjoy most now is quality time. Whether it be with myself or a few close mates. Maybe it is now, that I learn to enjoy life for what it is. 

I'm back to reminding myself that... Nothing lasts forever. Everything ends, eventually. And it reminds me everyday that I need to appreciate all of the things and people around me before it all disappears. But the tricky part to that, is knowing when to let go. Knowing that I should never hold on to things to tightly. And I was saying earlier, that I need to appreciate things and yet learn to not hold on to it? Sounds like some tricky mind-fucking puzzle doesnt it?

Anyways, if I havent mentioned already, well then I'll mention it again. I go to the gym twice in a week n pay 40AUD for 30minutes of "torture" each session. I still dont fully understand how people LOVE to pay money to be "tortured". But like I said before, its 2009 and its time for a change. I'm gonna start stepping out of the comfort zone and I'm gonna try new things. Even if its just a small change. But with every small step, it slowly makes a difference in the end. I miss the times, back in school where we were all so active in sports and all. I would love to get back into sports, just for the fun of it. Doubt I can take anything competitive anymore. haha.

So its a Friday night, and everyone back home was in Zouk for uncle Fono's gig. I could only imagine myself being there. It breaks me everytime to miss his set, because no matter how great the lineups are for an event,the best nights are always with the best company, my "family". And its times like these, that I miss them even more. I hope you guys enjoyed the set on my behalf. It would be at least another 8 gigs or so that I will miss this entire year. I dread the distance, sometimes. Oh well...thats life anyways.

Random thought of the day.... when people say or do something nice to/for you, is it because they did it out of courtesy/obligation or is it really from the heart?

You are still a whisper on my lips
A feelin' at my fingertips
That's pullin' at my skin

Days go by and still I think of you
Days when I couldn't live my life without you
Days go by and still I think of you
Days when I couldn't live my life without you
Without you
Without you

Dirty Vegas - Days Go By

Is It Cold Where You Are

I was bored and did this personality test from one of the sites taken from some facebook notes. And this was my answer....

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

I think... some are quite spot on.. and some are just.... I dont know. Not sure if its right or wrong hehehe.

Baby Get Shaky After School

There was an earthquake last night in Melbourne. A 4.6 on the Richter scale. Nothing too dangerous but it surely wasnt mild. Buttt.....fortunately  or... unfortunately, I didnt feel anything. We were out of the city, in Ikea buying some furniture. Must have been too busy to feel anything. hmm, would have been nice to be a part of history. Or at least I could say that I've felt an earthquake before. Oh bummer... 

Here... if you want to read more about it....

http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,25150188-661,00.html

I tear through the walls for you..
It’s you only you, no other...
and though it may seem I’m not with you,
but I’m here...and I wonder....

Wind closes in, there’s a storm above..
Leaves fly away, it’s my love.
Reach and I grab I can’t let you go.
Hand slips away it’s so cold..

Majai - Phoria

And stir within me every source of love.

I'm currently blank... and have been feeling abit blank for awhile now. Cant seem to get my head around things. I feel like I'm walking on a frozen lake, in the middle of winter. It's all frozen solid, you feel safe but yet, at the same time at the back of your head, you keep thinking that its gonna crack. But you still choose to walk on it anyways. And then.... now what?

We're all designers one way or another. Everything begins with a line.

Sometimes, with just a simple stroke or splatter is all it takes to create something beautiful.

Sometimes, beauty needs no words, explanations or conversations.

Finding your major, is like finding a purpose in life.

Finding a passion ,is like finding yourself.

Far other dreams my erring soul employ,
Far other raptures, of unholy joy:
When at the close of each sad, sorrowing day,
Fancy restores what vengeance snatch'd away,
Then conscience sleeps, and leaving nature free,
All my loose soul unbounded springs to thee.
Oh curs'd, dear horrors of all-conscious night!

Eloisa to Abelard by Alexander Pope