Suzzipoo's Bday Dinner

Yesterday, we had dinner at Italiannis in the Curve. We were supposed to have it at Laundry Bar, but looks like they couldnt bare with ppl being a little late, So they have the tables away and we were moved to Italiannis instead. Oh well..place doesnt really matter when theres company. Here are the pictures from the dinner.


Ppl love to take candid shots


A proper one


more candid...


i got tired of smiling after awhile. =)


The three 20-year-olds... while everyone sang Bday song for them


The workers sang together too!


Suzz, kai lin and yee vonne's Bday cake.


the um....girls... at the dinner


EVERYONE at the dinner!


these are our friends...smalls n shan. They're hiding behind the piller coz I scared them with my biG potato

I just have to mention this... i scored my FIRST goal playing futsal yesterday.hehehehe..*happy happy joy joy*. Besides that, I injured my leg after a collision with Rhys.Its not too bad,should heal in a day or two. =) ITS WORTH IT !!

Out Of The Blue

I'm nice to bitches....Really... I am

Making Up For Lost Times

Okay... so im really LATE to update bout last weekend. Better late than never.This is a good time to test my memory. Right, here goes. Friday, after class I took Willie down to civilization again. Left him at AC coz I had dinner plans with Sound System. Yeap, we had steamboat at Kepong.Reminds me of the time..back when I was younger, my family used to always go all the way there for steamboat. After dinner, we switched cars and I drove to hartamas. B4 heading to the park, we stopped by the 7-11 to get some drinks. Little did me n Jocey know, Smalls n Shan bought us a surprise as well. We didnt know what it was until we reached the park.All we knew was that it JIngles.


Mini Bowling...


Gutters....


The WINNERSSSSS.. hey.. dont look down on short ppl ok? the two TALLER ones lost. BADly


Then on Sat, it was Scott Bond at Zouk [again]. I didnt wanna go at first, considering Fono couldnt get us the media pass, coz its rather imposibble. I only wanted to go do my work. And since work cant be done there, I didnt really feel like goin. But Willie was vEry hypEd up bout it so, it isnt nice to spoil someone's party mood.When we arrived, I thought of just hanging out at Terrace Bar, maybe take some photos of the outside.BUT..the weather had to be bitChy. Even without Slinky there. So... one way or another, I had to go in. Scott Bond's set was not bad,really. I just didnt have the energy or the appropriate moOOD for it. Next was the usual supper after clubbing at Jln Alor.Its a fucking pity I dont have the pictures from that night while everyone else has it coz theres something really wrong with my memory card. Sigh...

So we move on to Sunday. The whole day was pretty much...wasted.Actually it WAS wasted. Not until after dinner did it actually became a DAY. Some progress. And that progress was to go down to KL n take the pictures that I couldnt take on Fri. This time, Slinky came along as me n Willie needed some AdvAnced student's advice.hehe. Well... ended up, I was just the TRIPOD holder. All I did was set up n keep the tripods.hahah Slinky took all the pictures for me. I sure as hell hope the lecturer Mr.Azril doesnt read this.haha.



A proof to show Malaysian drivers cant drive straight.hehe kiDding



Doesnt look like KL anymore, does it?


Now u know its KL


Signboards never looked this good.

And.... for being a hardworking student doing assignment... I got a tickEt from the darN cops.[coz i left my car at the bus stop] But hEy! everyone was doing it... i didnt know....Oh well... at least now we understand the tought lives of a photographer.Eh.. tripod holders too.. hey its hard to run while holding a tripod in your hand OkAy? And i meant fully deployed tripod.hahahaa. Thats all for the weekend folks.. OH yea... I watched MI:3 on Monday with Dj Blink,Golfish n his gf, Gerald Krystal,Willie, Vi Charn and some others.Sorry I dont know your name. =) nice show.

A Phase

what does it feel like to die? What is it like...being in a position where a fraction of a second makes your life flash in front of you? How does it feel to let everything go?

To open to up the door, and be free. To have no fear when I speak, to have no guilt and have no one to answer to, that I wanna do. But all I want, is just a dream because the paradox is… while I'm being who I am, I'm not who I am.

Why should people be so afraid of hell when they die? we are in hell everyday....
its late, I know, I should go.

Before You Sleep At Night

I have to blog bout this. Just came from DJ Lotus after a drink with my buddies. Guess what...? I witnessed a robbery. well.. not robbery..but snatch thief. I noticed 2 indian guys on bikes riding around the area.But they seem to be just playing around so no one really bothered. Suddenly I heard a woman screamed, I turned to see one of the guys rushed towards the lady n took her bag, quickly he ran after his friend on the bike and they ran off. Everyone was practically stoned. At the spur of a moment, no one could do anything eventho they wanted to. At least I knew me n my friends would have done something if we could. Imagine the tension of that moment. It could have been us. A reminder to everyone. Dont pick tables next to the road. First thing, you'll probably get robbed. If not,your chances of being hit by vehicles are higher. Becareful all. Best keep your valuable things close to you. I'm still stunned by the incident. I can only imagine what that lady feels....

One Moment In Time

Just returned from a yumcha session at big mamak. It all happened mainly because Slinky was having his lala craving. Then I got a msg saying that tonight at 2 mins n 3 sec pass 1 am, the date n time will be 01:02:03 04/05/06. Interesting. That moment would have slipped away without me noticing it. Too bad I dont have anything really memorable to remember the moment. Maybe I should go n make myself a drink, and sing myself a toast. Wait... CSI's repeat would be on.Not as if its memorable anyways.

Today I came across a tagline somewhere... it says " It is in the wind of change, that we find our true destiny" and it struck me. Perhaps thats why I'm always lost. Because I dont want to change. and I'm stuck in this predicament...when everything around me moves. Its funny how I know many things...but yet, brain n body doesnt work together. Thoughts will always remain as conversation in the mind. hmm...Maybe I should go back to temple more often.Clear my head and think things over.

I wish upon this wonderful moment, that the next memorable date and time.... I wouldnt be so insignificant.

Johari

CLICK HERE!

I got this after readind Jason Phoon's blog.Thought it might be interesting if i knew some stuff bout myself. =) If anyonE out there reads this, and wouldnt mind spending a few mins.Help me out!

Like Im On Fire

Okay.. its Sunday.. Time to wrap up another weekend. Maybe I should blog every Sunday. I feel busy these days...dont know y?Suddenly 24 hours doesnt seem enough for me anymore. Well anyways, I wanted to update about the crazy weekend I had.Friday..college as usual. Work got rejected[again] and I had to re-do. *sulk* oh well... nothing I should be complaining about..coz it was pretty last min anyways hehe. After class, I met up with Krystal and Sam and headed to Street Mall for lunch,followed by the visit to Willie's place...co-incidentally, A friend of Krystal's live together with Willie,so...shoot 2 birds with a stone. Chill there for abit,BugGEd the lazy bugger to come down to PJ with us.Success!. Headed back home after that n diEd...tired.At night, we went to zouk[again] for analog girl. This Singaporean female vocalist performing at the terrace bar.Sat there and had beer.Her voice was very...trancy.If you're high..you would love it. After analog girl's performance ended, we went in mainroom. Raysoo was spinning. Havent heard him spin in a long time. Still remember back last year, when I used to go crazy everyweek goin for his session with Jace n Krystal.

Actually I cant really remember much from Friday night's outing. I dont know y. No i wasnt drunk.Oh yea, We went Jln Alor for FooD. yes yes.I remember now. Alright. Sat, I didnt wanna wake up at all. was really Drainned from Friday.BUT...we, the 3 musketeers, me,willie and krystal went to zouk[AGAIN!] but this time, im not there for the party. Believe it or not, I actually went for work.Photography assignment to be exact. Fono managed to get me the media pass and I got to walk in with a big camera[not VERY big,but bigger than the once you ppl use to cam whore]. Most of the shots were taken by Willie,coz I didnt have a DSLR. So.. yea, most of the time, I was being a busy-body checking out everything in the DJ console. I was so tempted to play with the lightings. Well..besides that, after all the times that I've been on the floor looking up at Raysoo spin, last night I got to meet the man for himself, and I got to see how DJ's really spin.Not to mention Fono put up a pretty energetic set.WhiCh was bAD for the assignment coz we couldnt catch his face. So yea...treasured momEnts. =) Guess thats what it means by, PARty hARd n WOrk hard as well.. so yEs, Im working hard...really...


I feel HIgH


Raysoo


Nice picture of the guy


The bar


The pretty deck...with my stupid face at the side.Im a spoiler i know...


Today, I went for futsal.2 hour game..is almost suicide. After the tiring game, I went for dinner at AC. Needless to say, I ate like a pig. When I was done StuFFing myself, I went for a game of snooker n here I am,wrapping up my weekend. I shall go take a shower now,coz I stiNK n Im so sticky I could probably stick on the wall like spiderman. Right... -END-

Put A Spell On Me

You know a dream is like a river, ever changing as it flows.And a dreamer's just a vessel that must follow where it goes.Trying to learn from what's behind you and never knowing what's in storemakes each day a constant battle just to stay between the shores.And I will sail my vessel 'til the river runs dry.Like a bird upon the wind, these waters are my sky.I'll never reach my destination if I never try,So I will sail my vessel 'til the river runs dry.Too many times we stand aside and let the water slip away.To what we put off 'til tomorrow has now become today.So don't you sit upon the shore and say you're satisfied.Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance the tides. -Garth Brooks

As The Rush Comes

Havent been writing anything lately...Guess I dont have the time. These days I'm buSy as hell. I spend more hours in COLLEGE than being at home. Home is like a hotel now.haha. Well... whatever updates that I wanted to make has already been posted by everyone else. Okok...just for my own memory, Last Tuesday was Joce the DORY's bday at Fridays and then we moved on to DeCanter for DRINKS.Since joce was the bday girl...she got to choose the drinks.Beer it was. After my experience with A WHOLE JUG of beer...i got kinda sick of beer. *puke*. Alright, after that was a vERy Thursday, Fri and OF COURSE SAT. Lets see, thusday me n Willie headed out to Putrajaya for our photography assignment, Friday skipped half of design Studies class to develope the films.I made a terribly STUPID mistake by not making sure that ALL the film was out, n I cut it halfway =`( good thing is that I only lost bout 3 frames. Then at night, me, Slinky and Willie watched Ultraviolet..um...NO coMmEnts on the show... and then we headed our for Supper. We had nice LALA without Joce coz she was probably plUcking tea leaves in cameron.

Sat...me n Willie rushed to college early in the morning to pRiNt our pictures. But we still couldnt complete it coz time was not on our side. Time waits for no one right? yeah, so we headed back to my place coz krystal n Jason a.k.a Fono had nothing better to do and hopped over to my place to chill.[according to Krys, Fono's face was.. "tapau-ed" hahaha] We were supposed to go for that Quicksilver revolution thingy but didnt...coz everyone fell alseep anyWayS. Sat at home n Ordered Mcd.At night... As we were dressing up we were counting down the moments before we went face to face with EDDIE HALLIWELL! wahoo! yeah..we PIMPED UP [lol], picked up ppl and headed offfffff. Btw...I know I had some goD awful moodswings... I'm sorry guys..those who might have got affected. But whatever SwinGs I had earlier, was WasHEd away by Eddie. SeriouS heart ThumPing-body SHAking-bAlls breaking DJ.hahaha. No, i mean.. he's just REALLY GOOD.A-W-E-S-O-M-E. Silly Willie got yEt another signature on his shirt and A PICTURE with Eddie himself.damnnn....*heart weeps with jealousy* hahaha. Nah, joking! All in All, we all HAD mEgA fun! The night has to end, with a nice chilling session of supper back at Jelutung,Fono came along too.Next was to FLY back home n SLEEP...

Monday was back to reality n WoRk. Last night,I went for my first Mambo.Um...I have to admit it's Different.Sure isnt a nice sight to see old uncles dancin n worse of all trying to hit on my friends.So, it was alright.No objections to party n friends. =) Now, I'm supposed to be doing my assignment, but I'm outta ideas and WILLIAM is..probably still sleeping...so no help for me.Ugh...photoshop is not my forte at all.... =( i need to learn. oraits... I SHOULD get back to work. - End Of Update-

The Dory Turns 20!

My dear DORY friend....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY~~!!!!

Have a great bday you old fish. =) May we have more bdays together! hugs.

The Person In The Mirror

I feel different....like a sudden strong wind came in.. blew a part of me away n replaced it with something new. I needed a new place, a new environment, a new liFE so badly. WHat I got wasnt something entirely new. What I got, was my past.I'm on the road,leading to who I was. Funny how THIS time, i could actually walk back to my past. I dont know if its a good or a bad thing. Whatever the case is, as long as it takes me away from my troubles, I'm fine. Be it hanging out at the park where I used to every night, or...hanging out at this....gay bar[first time], goin back to ghetto,goin to try some korean food not knowing how big of a hole it burns your pocket, it really doesnt matter. Once again... i'll just go with the flow.I dont want to think bout anything else. I never should have left my friends. My first priority will always be my first priority. I wouldnt want to change that. What I'm trying to say... is that.... I'm satisfied now, in this moment, I have nothing and i will lose nothing.

What am I supposed to do
With all these blues
Haunting me everywhere
No matter what I do

Watching the candle flicker out
In the evening glow
I can't let go
When will the night be over

Seen a lot of broken hearts
Go sailing by
Phantom ships lost at sea
And one of them is mine

Raising my glass
I sing a toast to the midnight sky
I wonder why
The stars don't seem to guide me

I didn't mean to fall in love with you
And baby there's a name
For what you put me through
It isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me

The ghost of you and me
When will it set me free
I hear the voices call
Following footsteps down the hall
Trying to save what's left
Of my heart and soul

I'm sick...and tired of feeling like total pathetic DumbAss.WHY am I STILL mourning? Look at the time..its ticking, Its been so long. Then look at me....who am I now? I'm lost...more than ever.No, im not depressed... i'm... numb. I just realised that I can swing from being a happy camper going out partying one minute to a Mourning pAin in thE ASS DopE. Yes... happy easter...get me an egg if you're nice enough. =) chocolate is good.

Hands UP

WahahahahAHha~~!!!

I can sleep soundly tonite, with a Big BIg smile on my face.....dreaming bout the 2 wonderful goals scored by ROOOONEEEYYY and PARKKKKKK!!!! yeah. ahhhh... what bliss. N theres never a better place to watch than Hartamas Square. *Big BIg GRIN* good nite all =)

Babble Babble

I dont seem to have anything much to say these days. Or rather...nothing significant to blog about. College life, these days, I've been hanging out with William and Slinky alot more. And for SOME reason, everytime the 3 of us meet, the weather turns sour. SomEbody really doesnt like us.haha,or like Willie said, the power of us brings rain. LOL. Manchester United and Arsenal,hmm..a very anticipating match.A muST watch. M.O.S?? garHhh...I wanna go, but i'm not too sure.Its very tempting indeed.

Anyways, went for the field trip to the handycraft center just now, that boDoh Willie couldnt wake up coz had too much to drink....eediot. But the stuffs there was quite cool. Spoke to a few artists there,heard them talk bout their paintings,styles,abit on their lives...bla bla bla.

PLUS.... its MOMMY's bday today. everyone's getting so old. =)

Nothing in this life is free right? Everything has a price. So why arent I worth anything? I should be......

Understanding Denial

What If you cant break it... or u cant make it. And you cant wait for another day? And it puLls yOu... it pushes you, till you roll down and die. Then eVerything that you've Ever done.. every ounce of energY is all in vain? TO find a cause that waS mAybe never there, or to See tHe truth, thAt was never reallY truth At all? Roam through your whole life never knowing what the Purpose iS? Can you really let out a sigh... and presenT your "judges" "the story of my lIfe?” What would it be Like? WilL you be banged for all the mistakes you've done? Or how you could never snap out of a dead end? I think if I were to present the story of my life....I know I'll have to deal with LoadS of questions and the sad thing is that ThRoughout my whole life...I may not even find an answer for it.

Till death, will I face questions that has no answers. Be it questioned by me...or questioning me.

Losing My Grip

The days seem to be passing by so slowly lately. Just not too long ago, I quietly wished "us" at the stroke of midnight. Thought that was quite awhile back, but in actual fact, it has only been a week. Thought that I'm nearing the semester's end, but its only reaching the mid semester break. Maybe the reason I'm more focused with my studies this time around [not that im REALLYY VERRRY FOCUSeD], is because I want to be done with it before I start losing my concentration.

I could get angry at the smallest matter, bloW up, feel guilty later but not say anything. And the next minute, I seem fine again. Seems weird? but I dont know why I'm like that. I have the weirdest change of moods. onE minute I could be pissed as hell, in a few minutes, Im calm n happy even, as tho nothing ever happened... and I dont even know why.....

"savE Me!" i cried out loud begging for someone to hear me. But eventho im screaming on the inside,my mouth, would not open and my words always kept inside of me and my tiny cry goes unheard. But even in the real world, when u ask for help, U need to know first, what's the matter. But I dont...so how should I even ask for help?

Everything I do,I end up failing in the end. Everytime I try, I fall. All my life, I've always been the odd one out, and I can never understand why. Im beginning to believe that I may never end up doing anything right for the rest of my life. I cant seem to focus long enough to succeed. I cant even hold on A LITTLE while more to win it. I have to let it all break apart.I've been alive for 20 years....I dont have anything. I dont have any acomplishments. I dont even feel the lights at the end of the tunnel. I'm still lost. I hate to admit it...but I think, im falling back into the hole which I triEd so hard to climb out of. Sigh...

Screwed Up

I wonder what makes a person more superior than the other? I wonder what gives a person the right to "run" someone else's life? I wonder How can a PErsoN possibly be 100% righT their whole life? I dont think such a person exist. I dont think anyone should try to think that they're capable of that either. Life is like a cooking experiment. You experiment with different ingredients, you have a different outcome. Not a single piece of food will taste 100% the same, unless its made with machines or made at the same time. I'm talking bout human made...handmade..whatever. At different times, it may turn out alil sweeter, sometimes, alil bitter than usual, or what not.I'm saying, life is like that too. No ONE person could be the SAmE,altho similarities are more than differences.Therefore, everyone should be treated differently. siGh...I dont know what I'm rambling here,Maybe im just trying to release something stuck inside of me. but due to somE reason, i feel very trapped.Y? coz nothing i ever say is a point, or anything that i say, will have consequences.

Its amazing how someone can manipulate another into something. And when that person doesnt enjoy it anymore, then that person is to blame for not putting effort into it and blamEd for being unable to catch up. WhAt the Fuck? ITs almost like forcing someone to LIKE IT and MUST DO WELL or there will be consequences. The only thing that clears thAt manipulating person is that they didnt mAkE you do it unwillingly....direCtly. but indirectly...i say yEs.

You know whats the Funniest thing i've heard today? being a medical student makes that person SMART..the BiG brained kinda smart. and me being in arts, is not good enough. WHAT THE FUCK KINDA SENSE DOES THAT FUCKING MAKE? ANYONE can be a medical student. Does that make them smart? So if i had taken LAW or some other "PROFESSIONAL" course i'm smarter? but just because im in ARTS im not qualified? and you think u can stEp on me? fine... your choice. Right now, im So irritated, i couldnt care less WHO reaDs this! The only reason i stick around is because i have a certain respect for that person and because noThiNG has been done to me. but this... pissed me off. If any of you think that just by being a medical STUDENT makes you a smarty pants... you are actually pretty stupID. WHen you graduate smoothyly without failing a single subject,i'll agree with you. But when you're JUST a sTUdent? your "smart" title... can wait.

Ping pong..??? i think you just killed whatever interest i have for the game. You dont even think im worthy enough anyway.so be it. I wont change your perception, i wont even try. Why? oh.. coz you're too superior to even liSten to what i have to say.Unless someone else thAT YOU think is at yoUr level tells it to u. AnyWAys...this post states no names or gender.Whoever who wants to be pErasan n thinks that im talking bout them,go ahead.

2006 Pit Party

Tiesto Tiesto, the grEAt Tiesto. The Number 1 Dj, need I say why? He's absolutely amazing. The performence last nite I think was by far the bEst I've ever seen. 5 Straight hours of Tiesto and 5 straight hours I have been standing. ok maybe 4 hours and 50mins. I did take bout 10 mins to rest my poor leg. But the Music was SoOo good it just keeps you on your feet. The amazing thing was that...apparently that session was recorded and it was going to be in his new album " In Search Of Sunrise Vol.5". Thats cool. Means we got to hear first hands the songs thats noT even in his album yET!

Anyways, met up with Alot of people. Seems the world was at that rave. Including Kong Meng, my CrAzY tattoo artist. Didnt know he liked trance. ahahaha. I dont really have much to say bout the event, coz...words just cant describe the feeling. The vibE, the power of ONE DJ to move the world. I've only a few pictures coz I didnt bring camera. so....here goes.


TiesTO!


U know i like them laser lights


Lights with Tiesto Doing his Thing...perfect.


the "SOHAIS" reunion ...along with an alien.hahah


now the original "SOHAIS"

What Becomes Of Us

The ups and downs and round-abouts
Where are they leading to
The in-betweens and silly doubts
How do we make it through

Homeward
I'm heading homeward
But tell me what becomes of us

Thinking it'd be better if
Never happy with what else
Something more something new
Would make it all okay

As time goes by we learn so much
But still feel so alone
Waiting for the answers
For someone to drive us home

I'm heading homeward
But tell me what becomes of us

Tell me what becomes of us
Tell me what becomes of us.....

sigh.....

Don't Know How To Stop

Havent updated anything in a pretty long time...anyway, these days I've been busy with college work. This semester is quite a killer compared to the last. It isnt so laid back and easy anymore. I have LOADS...heck maybe TONNES of work to do. As usual, im lazy.. so it'll have to wait till later b4 i start anything.

I feel life these days, is getting very....quiet. No more late night outings, or clubbing. Fridays and Sat nights I come home by 12 or before. Only occasionally I stay later. Weekdays... I dont go anywhere. Maybe i'm getting old. Or worse.. maybe im shutting the world away from me. I'm a little lost. My direction in life is a little distracted now, it seems. Its like, what I used to concentrate on, is blurry now and theres other things coming in and out of my head.

" i'm frozen still, unspoken still,
heartbroken,
remembering something I forgot, something I forgot"

Everything has its expiry date..... Life...machines,tolerance,patience too i guess. I'm just waiting to see, what if onE day I run out of things to give. What will people say? What will they think of me then? Who will I be then? Or do I have the infinite ability of giving because that is my purpose here? to be a 365days 24/7 santa claus?

I feel guilty for what I cant give and for the things I cant do to make a change. I hate being in a situation where it makes me feel helpless, apart from feeling like an idiot for Not knowing anything. Add them both together and you get a formula to kill my head. Its like being stabbed by a knife... and pouring a whole bottle of... Black Lable on it. Ignorance is bliss? I think that only applies if you DOnt KnOW at all that theres something that you dont know. If u know that theres something there... but you dont know what it is, or you CANT know, its pissing off. Call me busybody... but im partially traumatized.

AnywaYS... im hungry...another time...

Why Should I Take The Blame

Dont you think human relationships are so funny? Its as tho everyone is only out to look for something in someone. When you found it, you stick and when it doesnt satisfy you anymore you leave. Everyone starts out being friends and all... then some will turn more than friends... and when its over, sometimes, you're not even friends. its almost like the entire time spent with that person, never existed. Erased from your memory. Like the men in black people coming to you and sticking that stick to erase your memory. Some people learn from it, n some people dont. Some adds you to their shit list and some people mourn your departure like they're mourning someone's death.And then you move on and cross paths with another person... and the whole cycle of meeting, getting close, and memory erasing goes again. Unless someone decides to stop the whole stupid predictable cycle. Seems like we humans are just looking for trouble arent we? getting ourselves into situations and bitCh bout it in the end. Quite PoinTless... Furthermore, dramas like that attract people to SprEAd RUmouRs bout COmplEte utter NOnSense. Do people really have nothing else better to do? How is it that the brain is used so Excellently to think of rubbish but not on how to work on their own lives? Unbelievable.

I dont know what is it with Sundays and Me thinking funny... hahaha. Maybe the eggs I just cooked were OVER SALTY. omg. I havent tasted anything THAT freaking salty in awhile. anyways... donT mock me bout my whining, I think i deserve the rights to.offff to smoke. end.

Turned Around

Sometimes I realised that I make decisions without putting much thoughts into it. And sometimes, I put unnecessary thoughts into matters that doesnt need much. More often than not, I find myself stuck in a moment struggling to get out or to adapt. I guess in someways, its good that its this way too....since I'm so lazy to do a darn thing bout...anything, I shall just "accidentally" make a decision N work my way out whether or not I like the outcome. It was almost always bout other people and not me.Sometimes I feel that the entire world turn their backs towards me. I feel LIFE itself turns away from me.

Sometimes, I'd do whatever it takes to not lose something, I dont think of what I would feel. I dont think bout what I would get into." What doesnt kill you only makes you stronger".I suppose thats how I'm still alive till today. Besides my not-so-right head, Im more or less, able to take on moSt challenges. Of course trying to wake up in the morning n drive all the way to no man's land everyday is...kinda tough sometimes...hahaha. I seem to have all the strength to almost everything else but wake up n go to class.Oh...assignments are a no no too. Im lAzy so what..? shoot me.

I just need to break outta the same circle and face something bigger. Something worth putting all my efforts to. If Im making efforts to change or to adapt to my surroundings all the time, I might as well put myself into situations that require MORE change and adaptation. Again, im contradicting between living in a stable and constant lifestyle and the ever changing challenging lifestyle. I used to always tell myself to weight pro n cons of everything, seeing the big picture so that I'll be more understanding. Maybe I've ovEr doSed on that lil note. Now it just makes me feel like im a rope in a game of tug-of-war. I want to move on, but I want to stay. I want this but I want that.I want to be something, yet I dont want to.I want to be younger, but I wanna be older. I want to make sense, but Im not.hahaha stupiD.

Anyways... im babbling a shit load of crap that I myself didnt understand. bAhhh.


" how do I explain that smile, and how it turns my world around, keeping my feet on the ground"

In My Heart Is Where I Keep You

This is the first time I've had to bid my goodbyes 3 times in the SAME week. omfg. !@#~!@#~!@#. There's always a first time ya? Well, to the 3 of you, TAkE care and be GooD aights? Come back and visit the poor ol chubby...or at least webcam with me...coz chubby is feeling very lonEly already. Sound system also...well, they're still noisy but its not the same. =\ hope to see u all soon.


I MiSs you Flabby....


You too Carmen...have a safe flight back to Auckland.


We will be again....another time.

Love You ALL!! oh Barnenita...have fun at the U2 concert. =)

Eyes Blurry Saying Goodbye

Have you ever felt like... you wanna take off and go search for something more in life...than just being here living the same life until the day you die?I'm sure many feels that way. But...how do you let your entire life that you know SO well go... and start off somewhere else, all from scratch? Its like... you just dont wanna wake up everyday knowing whats gonna happen next.. wake up... drive to school/college/uni/work.. and then home.You just wanna take a little leap, expand your horizons, open up your mind and eyes to see more than just, an ordinary life. Coz face it, Life's too freaking short to just stay put rite? But im here... holding on to things alil too tightly, i'm afraid to let it all go to experience something else. But my heart wants to go. Irritating aint it? to contradict yourself this way. Cant decide between what you wanna do, or what you wanna sacrifice.

Even now...watching all my friends leave..with every parting with each of them, I have to learn how to adapt to their absence.One by one... until I'm the only one left here...until I make my move to another environment. I worry so much that I will never see them again... or I will never be able to hang out and talk to them like how I always do when everyone was still here. I hate to let them go....

Anyway...I'm bArKing mad in the middle of the night...partially going crazy becoz I'm confused with the way I feel.I'm Sad that Flabby is leaving in not more than 7 hours, yet I'm happy she gets the opportunity to go. I'm So reluctant to let her go, yet I want her to go. bRAhHh...I shall be like dear old Blorish and RAHH at everything. Everything changes rite? Nothing that has changed will ever come back to what it was. Maybe we'll all change for the better... maybe not? I personally Dont like changes. I hate having to change things and have new stuff coming in and out of my life. I like it stable and constant. And im repeating what I just said.hahaha. Enough. Im goin mad. EnD.

An Hour Glass Glued To The Table

Its the time again...when people are goin back overseas to continue another semester of studies...and also when new people leave for the same reason...I hatE it when Feb and July comes...coz everytime it does...more and more people leaves me.

To Lap Sap...blorish..whatever... take care of yourself over there.Dont forget me or i'll go over there in 2 years to kick ur butt. Sound System must RoCk Melbourne aights? to others who never really knew her... lemme tell u a thing or 2 bout her...


She likes to cam-whore..even in public places, n makes me her victim...


She likes to disturb me when im in lalaland....


she...loves to laugh..but cries when laugh too much...

And theres So mUCH more... words will never be enough! Im missing her noise already.... even tho she doesnt answer her phone often n DOESNT wake up when people are calling her.... i still wanna call. hahaha. bE GooD Blorish. =) Now i shall prepare myself for.....another goodbye.....

Random Outing Updates

Last week... I had dinner with the sound system.. Carmen, Smalls and Jocelyn.Went to this restaurant called Vogue. Pretty cool place.


Our meal....looks good doesnt it? =)


Me n Smalls at Vogue



Karma After the dinner...


Last week I also went up to Genting with Flabby. Back to the old days when we would just go up there to chill. And chill is right, coz it was colD....

Genting with Flabby on one of our crazy days.


The temperature.... check it out...Flabby was Shaking, and I was the HERO

Today...went Naili's, the USJ branch for a drink with Carmen,Flabby, Lee Ling and Ming Wei. Poor Flabby n Carmen.. all sick people. SEE... you both are NOT meant to leave us all so early....


At Naili's USJ


Carmen N Lee Ling..haha


On a more Random note.....

CHeck out me n smalls.... we're not REALLY thAT SmaLL...hahaha

So Please

How does someone understand something beyond your reach? You watch a movie, your favorite actor/actress on screen. They put on a good show, and you're happy that you've made your money's worth. You see them everywhere, movies after movies, playing different roles with different characters. They're so great to you. But do you really know them for who they really are? Some paparazzi catch them taking drugs. But do u really know what the purpose is? Maybe its they're sick. Might have been just simple medication but people mistaken it for drugs. Someone catches them having a party in a club, people say, they're wild animals who are leading their lives into a ditch. Maybe they're just celebrating something. They are just like who are we, but because they're somewhat gifted with the talent to act and put on masks, it changes everything.

How would you truly understand them? Which movie did you think was more like them? We dont really know them for who they are but we still love them. But can we all really be blamed for not knowing who they really are? In reality, if someone doesnt open up enough to you, you wont truly understand them, in fact, we are all just blinded. A reason why people wear masks is to hide something underneath. If you started off behind a mask, then you're never truthful to begin with.Then dont accuse me for not trying hard enough to understand. My efforts may seem like a drop in the ocean to you...but I have limits too...just like you said. Thats as far as I understand. I know I may not have understood you much, but what bout you? Do u think you've understood me fully as well? No my dear, I have my point of view that you've either never seen, or ignored.

Forgive me for being shallow, but I dont understand why should someone blame someone else for having difficulty to understand when in the first place you love making things difficult. For all that I know, I was sincere and most of all I was loyal. I didnt care who you are and who you were.YEs, its kinda hard to love something or someone if you never understood what it is and who they are. All I wanted was to be happy, for bOTH you and I. I've given everything that I could possibly give. Including letting you go. It was/IS by far the hardest thing to do, but yes, for your sake, Go. And please, just let me let you go in peace. I dont think I need to know anymore bout how I didnt not satisfy or understood you. I'm sorry I didnt have the ability to understand you, its not my fault.This is who I am.I've never blamed you for being who you are, so DONT...dont insult whatever intelligence I have left. It may be NOTHING to you, but I know, im not stupid enough to be trash. If you think someone who doesnt have the kinda brains that you have does not deserve to be with you, I can never change that, thats you.

Dreams and hopes and ambitions. It differs from one person to another. What may look glamorous to me might be trash to you. And I may not think the same bout your dreams as well. You have your freedom now, go, make the best out of it.I'll still wish the best for you and hope you would never regret the steps you have taken and will take in the future.Just please,spare me from the agony. You dont know how much this hurts.

Flowers In The Dumpster

Had a mini gambling session with the sound system n flabby last nite at my place. Since this house of mine is now so quiet, I thought calling in the professionals in sound would be a good thing. Indeed it was. I actually gambled and WON! hAh. Dont think i'll get addicted to it tho[hopefully]. Anyways the game wasnt on for very long coz Flabby wanted to continue watching Geisha. And I also had to attend to her coz she was starting to do funny things.haha.

As usual, I havent been able to sleep much. Woke up this morning with the kILLLEr sorethroat. Maybe screaming or singing like a mad cow 2nites ago was the culprit. SLow effect tho. So now, im on my MoMmy's chinese herbal tea medication and pray that I dont start feeling any worse coz Im NOT GONNA GO TO THE DOCTORS! me dont like....Sigh... this sorethroat shit makes me unable to smokE...therefore im bitChy,kinda.Cant really eat solid food too,so im gRouchy.Not that im eating much.

But the best thing today, was the late night futsal. phEw...good game. As usual, a whole bunch of guys and me.My guts shrinks to bean-like size everytime they try to shoot.Its either I go up to them n try to block, or run away for cover.Guys said I improved[yay] which made me rather happy,coz i havent played futsal in a pretty long time. Suppose its because I didnt really care bout anything else.I just...really wanna play n enjoy the game. Hope they would keep it up. Make it a regular thing just like last time. Now my toe hurts, im tired and kinda hungry too. SHall go n look for food...bathe n ZzZzZzZZZ. hope i'll get some good sleep. tata

OH BTW...mAnchEsTEr won 4-2. HAHAHA. That also made my day eXtRA SweEt. yeh.

Live life movies.

Relationships are like... watching a movie. At the beginning, you catch this trailer. Trailers always always eem interesting. Of course, its the main thing to attract people to watch it. Then when the movie comes out, sometimes you'll end up Loving that show, sometimes, it just doesnt seem as good.

Sometimes, you watch an entire movie without understanding what the heck it means. Then it becomes a sucky show. But some other people may find it rather intesting. Sometimes you understand the movie, but only towards the ending. Sometimes the movie is GoOOd, but you just cant grasp the real meaning. However, it differs from one point of view to another.

Sometimes, you may learn pretty good stuff from the movie. Sometimes, you learn crap that influences you to do shit. Sometimes, you just dont learn jackshit.

Movies just like everything else, has a beginning, and has an ending. However you liked or dislikes the show, it ends. Its just a matter of how long. Sometimes, if the show is terrible, you might walk out of it. Sometimes, you stay just because you paid for it. And with every new movie you watch, you can choose to either forget bout the old show, or remember it.

Sometimes, its funny how you can put your daily lifestyle into...your daily lifestyle.

Blorish

I have a new friend. Her name is Blorish. She's a "Blonde" Irish girl. She loves Bailey's coz its irish cream. She checks expiry dats underneath bottled alcoholic drinks. she has her own language. MOst of the words consist of "RAhHh". She even says that during..... pEAk hours. hahahahaha!!!

Man did we all had a good laugh or what. What would our lives be without this.... SpEciaL girl? ahahah. Pricessless.

Habit To Ruin

I got this site while visitting jocey's blog.

*check this out*

Chinese new year is coming sooOn,more foody food food. Soon after that, college will bEgin. Another whole new life for me? Dont know....

buy me a car,
buy me a house,
give me my education,
give me a life.
give me love, and Im still like this.

I wished I was a part of the Harry Potter story, i wanna turn the round thing 3 times N turn back time.

Is it me, is it you,
Nothing that I could do,
To make you change your mind....

Is it me, is it you
Nothing that
I could do,
Is it a waste of time....

Glory!

WINNERR!!

I have to say, that was ONE helluva nerve wrecking match. Hearts all beating fast. But alas, A gOoOd win. Rio Ferdinand, I salute u!

Hopping Mad

Is my tone of voice...SO unbelievably difficult to differentiate that it causes confusion and thus misunderstandings and then arguments? Is it so hard to sort out plain comments from AccuSAtions? If it is so, then Im better of not saying anything.mutE! So I wouldnt be a burden when I terasa n get piSsEd.Or better, Dont talk to me, coz you'll never know when, or how or why my body temperature rises.Im insane...you can say.Sensitive? yEah mAybE.Terrible temper? yEAh,maybe tHAt too! Im UnbEliEvable aren't I?

You all think I LIKE having bad/hot/ugly temper? Hell no I dont. It burdens me.I hate it just as much as AnY oF you all hAte it. But what can I do? To everyone else, Im getting piSsEd over things as minor as ABC. But to me, I feel I just cant take it.Keep it in any longer and Im about to be like a balloon trying to fit in 10Kg of water. Maybe try cracking an egg on top of my head sometime,maybe I could make you some fried egg.

Look at me now, Im piSsy and gRumpy at times like tHIS.I should very well be sleeping...or.. eating.Im being a grouch and Im not happy bout it. Im just gonna force myself to bed n hope this will blow over when I wake up.

Balance Of Serious N StupiditY

Results results results....After the Long wait... my results landed safely at me doorstep yesterday.wahaha.. thE joY... the happiness...the relief! lalala... NO FAILS! waHoO! it isnt a very beautiful slip of paper... neither did I pass with FLyiNG rainbow colors. But its good enough for me. Hey.. no fail[s]!! ahahaha.My first in....3 years.Hopefully when I go home later, I'll get a Big biG pressie! nAh...juz kidding...

Anyway, went to Karma last nite for a drink and a VERy belated mini birthday celebration with a friend.Didnt notice Manchester had a match...with Manchester.HOWEVER... it DIDNT turn out so well.Manchester United AGAin,had bad defence thus allowing Manchester City to take OWN the match. 3-1. Im wallowing in my tears man.Meanwhile,ARSENAL, made Middlesbrough hide under their covers coz the match ended in an astounding 7-0 win. INSANE... goD DAmn @#$@!#$!@#$ Arsenal.Depressed. I was so depressed I drank alil too much.Or, it was because I didnt have my dinner before drinking.Killer.

So there... my vEry wonderful,yet not wonderful weekend.Oh btw, Bangkok Jazz is beautiful. Nice place.

Far Away

This time, this place,
Misused,mistakes,
Too long, too late,
Who was I to make you wait,
Just one chance,
Just one breath,
Just in case there's just one left,
Coz you know,you know, you know,

That I love you,
I have loved you all along,
And I miss you,
Been far away for far too long,
I keep dreaming, you'll be with me,
And you'll never go,
Stop breathing,If
I dont see you anymore.

I wanted,
I wanted you to stay,
Coz I needed,
I need to hear you say,
That I love you,
I have loved you all along,
And I forgive you,
For being away for far too long,
So keep breathing,
Coz Im not leaving you anymore,
Believe it,
Hold on to me, never let me go.....

I hate the way I still have my moodswings.....

Bad Day

Isnt this year supposed to be a better year for the...tigers?If this is a bad year.... i can see why... this is only the beginning.

motHEr fuCkinG FUckEd up stupid....ME! COck eyed shit...now i gotta fork out 400 bucks. Bloody darn expensive to kiss someone's Ass.Maybe I should lay off driving for awhile. There were So mAny times...I could have gotten into MAnY many accidents..but was fortunate enough to slip away. for more than 2 years... I have NEVER had an accident that was My fault b4.. this is totally degrading.EnouGh... I shall speak no more of my shameful accident.....thE end.

New Year's Eve 05-06

this is a vERy late update on the new year's eve...

the preparation...:the chubBy's Crib

"LoOk...u cant see my face..."

the drive out....

And AWay we Go

At the party place...:1U promenade/rainforest

the countdown

After the countdown....

HAPPY NEW YEAR...!!!!

location...: 1u carpark

Cam-whoring session began


caught in the action


"NoT gonna poSe....Stop TAking!!!"

BUt.....






when my car stoPpEd looking like a lightning generator, we all headed to Asia cafe for SuppEr!... or breakfast of the new year. the end.