Turned Around

Sometimes I realised that I make decisions without putting much thoughts into it. And sometimes, I put unnecessary thoughts into matters that doesnt need much. More often than not, I find myself stuck in a moment struggling to get out or to adapt. I guess in someways, its good that its this way too....since I'm so lazy to do a darn thing bout...anything, I shall just "accidentally" make a decision N work my way out whether or not I like the outcome. It was almost always bout other people and not me.Sometimes I feel that the entire world turn their backs towards me. I feel LIFE itself turns away from me.

Sometimes, I'd do whatever it takes to not lose something, I dont think of what I would feel. I dont think bout what I would get into." What doesnt kill you only makes you stronger".I suppose thats how I'm still alive till today. Besides my not-so-right head, Im more or less, able to take on moSt challenges. Of course trying to wake up in the morning n drive all the way to no man's land everyday is...kinda tough sometimes...hahaha. I seem to have all the strength to almost everything else but wake up n go to class.Oh...assignments are a no no too. Im lAzy so what..? shoot me.

I just need to break outta the same circle and face something bigger. Something worth putting all my efforts to. If Im making efforts to change or to adapt to my surroundings all the time, I might as well put myself into situations that require MORE change and adaptation. Again, im contradicting between living in a stable and constant lifestyle and the ever changing challenging lifestyle. I used to always tell myself to weight pro n cons of everything, seeing the big picture so that I'll be more understanding. Maybe I've ovEr doSed on that lil note. Now it just makes me feel like im a rope in a game of tug-of-war. I want to move on, but I want to stay. I want this but I want that.I want to be something, yet I dont want to.I want to be younger, but I wanna be older. I want to make sense, but Im not.hahaha stupiD.

Anyways... im babbling a shit load of crap that I myself didnt understand. bAhhh.


" how do I explain that smile, and how it turns my world around, keeping my feet on the ground"