7 days left to Zoukout... I havent got my bus ticket down and still have no confirmation on where I'm gonna stay. Everything is so last minute. Then again, for some funny reason, I cant really tell if I'm realllyyy exited that I'm feeling some mixed feelings, or I'm just not as exited bout it as before. Or was I ever? Most of the time, I'm telling myself to have fun. What happened to my drive to enjoy myself? Something's wrong with me, these couple of days. Thinking of nonsense and unrelated matters. Can someone tell my mind to stop flipping pages thats dated a year ago? I cant help it, my walls are up and I'm boxed inside the dark. Seems to me, I've sealed myself inside my own tomb. I dont want to get out. I built my own dead end. Why? because I feel safe here where I am.
And though I do stupid things every Thursday, it doesnt mean I'm going to come out. Its just... some kind of entertainment. I dont think I can afford to be who I used to be. There just isnt enough pain killers for one more time around. Now who I am and what I am inside, is a mystery. Would you like to play a game? Why dont you solve it and tell me the answers. Take your time, I wont be going anywhere far. Solve the shit and enlighten me.Educate me.Save me. The grass is greener on the other side? yeah, well I cant see it anywhere.So why bother looking. If anyone happens to stumble upon a package that says "chubby's soul" please bring it back to me. Thank you.
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