i have a monster in my head. It is arguing with my mind bout being the person i wanna be, and thinking the way I wanna think and DistRuping the emotions I wanna feel. Making my happiEst moments my saddest, and my saddest my happiest. While at times im sad bout how things are, im happy that this is what it is. And while I lay in bed playing the WrOnG movie scenes and letting it sip into my subconscious mind, I forgot about reality. I tend to gEt addicted with my mental movies and how perfect my life seems to portray.
I like the way i livEd in my mind. Flawless and blissful. Though according to that "being a happy teenager" book, you can change the way you are and the way u live by bRinging that mental movie scene to life, i seem to like mine the way it is....maybe keeping certain things in your head is better than bringing it to life. Nothing so perfect and wonderful could live outside of my mental world. In the end, it would just be like everything else, desTroyEd and flawed. YEs, i live in 2 worlds. One in which i'vE created and one in reality, it's not so baD....it's the bEst i could do. And though i Sometimes tend to get these two worlds miXed up, im trying to FIX that. so...im sorry, if i dont seem normal for awhile...saying things that i shouldnt say, feeling certain emotions that doesnt seem to FiT the timing. Im just confused. or maybe because im arguing with the monster in my mind. And though i live in 2 worlds, im still the same person. it's just thE outcomes of my life that are Slightly.....different.
Change is always a challenge.
Acceptance….is a cause of change or an effect of change?
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2 comments:
Why lead your life by a bOOk? I've never read any of those. Wasting my precious time. Do whatever you wanna do. Everything doesn't go your way. COmpromise. You're neither the king nor God. You will learn, time will tell. Practicality and not fantasy that's important. That doesn't mean you don't drive your dreams. Crave for it, work for it, accept the outcome. Acceptance is eye opening. Mind over matter. Strength, dude.
maybe it's just me, but i don't think you can be two exactly alike person in two different worlds. your surroundings affect you, imho. so you're bound to be someone different in one world compared to the other. maybe simply slightly different, but different anyhow.
acceptance of what..should answer your question. i think.
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