Dim

What makes you do the things you do? What makes you make the decision to walk a certain path? Why do you do it,eventho you KNOW its not easy?Why make yourself suffer more when you can end it early? Why have such desires to kill yourself? In a world full of choises,why do we all end up choosing the ones that often times leaves us emotionally criPpLed in the end? No one stops your from making your own decision,so why cant we just put a stop to it?

Everything that has a beginning, has an ending right? Why do we have to endure LIFE? wake up, work like a dog, have a bad day sometimes, go to bed and then the same cycle begins again the next day until the day you die. No matter how much good you did in this life, you’ll die, or how much sin you've done, you’ll still die. Better yet, gooD people actually die young and the scumbags live long. Maybe in someways thats good.Life isnt....THAT beautiful.Its only beautiful because we make ourselves look at it that way.So whats the point?I know,its stupid questioning these kinda things bout the big...LIFE.But it gets so,sick, to just wake up and smell shit, take shit, EAt shit and then just die like that.

Im baffled by the thought that Life...to me is just like that.Its full of Lies,deceit,jealousy,hatred and all the kinda jAcKshit that comes and goes everyday of my life. Smiles and laughter are only temporary and it can only last for so long. When Im at home, and I be honest with myself, its so dark.Yes,im glad that I have great people in myself that helps me brighten up my days. But its just like a few candles in a dungeon. Even at its brightest flames, the dungeon will only be dimly lit. And I dont know how I feel. SESAT! nuff' said. This is something that cannot be changed. No matter How far I run, or how many yearS it has been since I felt this way, it wont go away. Because, I am me.