Something woke me up early this morning and kept me awake. Was awaken by the thought of people leaving and i have to say, im deeply disturbed by it. It started bit by bit, when people started leaving, and as i read other blogs bout their friends leaving, i felt the pinch in my heart knowing that i'll be facing the same situation soon enough. The conversation with Flabby inflicted even more thoughts bout this more than ever. How im not ready to go or watch her go. The emotional send offs at the airport....the tears in your eyes, as you bid your good byes i realized, are only temporary. What seemed to worry me most is not letting them go at that moment. It's not knowing how things will be like in the future. What if you bid good bye today as the bEstest of friends, but return with NothiNg?What if that hug was the last hug? Getting used to the days without your best buddies are gonna be such a pain...3 to 4 years is too far down the road to say anything now. What will it be like then? Will the closest people to you be replaced? The group of poeple that you go for yum cha sessions, will they still be the same?
How blissful it was being a young and naive teenager, not having to worry about anything more than to excel in your studies and be a good kid to your parents. How blissful it was to say goodbye to your friends knowing that in a matter of a few more hours, you WILL see them again...How we never understood the meaning of the word.."goodbye". Now? Good byes only meant parting for a long time....weekS? months? yEArs?ONce you board that plane... there's no turning back. A new life awaits you. And so we stand, at this platform together for the last time... and the circle gets smaller as one by one leaves...walks away into their own path...what lies ahead of the path? another platform for us to meet again? I can only hope.
Im saying this because, though i dont go around telling them i love them, i just hope they do know that. I hope things will never have to change ToO much, though i know, changes are expected. I have the best bunch of EEdiot friends and a Mad Flabby pig. Possibly the bEST idiots and pig i'll EvEr meet in my lifetime. What will my days be without them? If only i knew when and where we would be, so that i would know how to say good bye. Flabby...you and I will bE continents apart! GoD you're gonna be far away.
From the depths of my soul, this is who I am.And who I am, is all that I could give you.
"I love you
Not only for what you are
But for what I am
When I am with you."
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